Gunning Down Romance
by Nova-chan
Summary: Xelloss admits his love for Filia and is rejected. It seems that he only has one alternative now...


Gunning Down Romance  
  
  
  
Author: Nova-chan  
  
E-mail: IlovemenoV@aol.com  
  
Series: Slayers  
  
Rating: G  
  
Song: Savage Garden  
  
Summary: - - -  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
This is all Filia's fault. It's her fault that he was depressed. It's her fault that he didn't want to live.  
  
All because she rejected him.  
  
Xelloss loved her. She didn't know. Nobody knew. He hid it well. I certainly would have never guessed if he hadn't told her and asked her to be with him.  
  
  
  
Love and other moments are just chemical reactions in your brain  
  
I wish it didn't have to be this way. She couldn't love him. Even though she has a good heart, she has a deep hatred for the mazoku race. It's not her fault that she's that way. It's just the way she was taught and brought up.  
  
He may not have always loved her, but he grew to love her. He only wanted to know what it was like for someone to return the feeling. But Filia denied him of it.  
  
So, he got depressed. And angry.  
  
And feelings of aggression are the absence of the love drug in your veins  
  
I know that Xelloss may have been evil, but I think he did have a heart somewhere in there. A person without a heart can't have it broken. And, he certainly felt it shatter into a million pieces with Filia's rejection. I never thought that Xelloss would ever lose his clever mask, but, like his heart, it shattered.  
  
In your veins  
  
Filia probably thought that he was just being himself, and never guessed in a thousand years that he could be capable of love, especially for a dragon. She was just afraid of being hurt, and in turn, she hurt him. Worse than she could imagine.  
  
Love come quickly  
  
Maybe it's better this way. Maybe it could have never worked. But, on the other hand, it could have worked. They could have been happy. They could have been together for the rest of their forever lives. I'm just playing the devil's advocate in this because either way, we'll never know which was better. It's too late now.  
  
Because I feel my self-esteem in caving in  
  
I don't think anyone knew how fragile Xelloss' feelings could be. You could never be sure if he was serious or just playing around.  
  
"Lina?"  
  
I looked up at Gourry, who was standing over me, wearing a black tuxedo.  
  
"Yes, Gourry?" I responded.  
  
"Are you gonna be oh-kay?"  
  
"I guess so."  
  
It's on the brink  
  
I sat there, on a bench in a church, in a black dress. Zelgadis was there. He was wearing a suit similar to Gourry's. Amelia couldn't take it. She was the one who had found him, lying on a roadside, no longer breathing. She had refused to come, though I knew that she probably wanted to be there more than anything. Val came. The poor kid was crying his eyes out. His affection for Xelloss was a rare case, indeed. When I asked him if Filia was coming, he said, "Probably not."  
  
Love come quickly  
  
Zelgadis didn't show any emotion through the whole ordeal. He didn't appear to like Xelloss very much, but I think he might have considered him a friend in some way.  
  
I really expected for Zelas to show up, but she probably had already gotten a new priest-general and forgotten about Xelloss.  
  
Because I don't think I can keep this monster in  
  
Some people may have considered Xelloss a monster. Maybe I did too. But, even monsters are allowed to cry and feel and hurt. I know, because I saw all of it happening to Xelloss. After Filia turned him down, and then whacked him with her mace-sama for even suggesting such a thing, I saw the tears gather up in his eyes as he teleported away. Filia didn't see it; she was too busy huffing and puffing about Xelloss being a pervert and always saying mean and rude things to her.  
  
It's in my skin  
  
I think that Gourry was sad about what happened, because he kept asking me if I was all right. I told him that I was several times, but it never seemed to sink in. I guess he thought that I should be terribly upset like Amelia was. It did make me sad, but I wasn't going to kill myself over it.  
  
Hmm.that's funny. Kill myself because of depression. It's similar to what Xelloss did, although he had a more feasible cause.  
  
Love and other socially acceptable emotions are morphine  
  
I know that Xelloss probably was more of a bother than a help, but I kind of grew to like having him around after a while. If Filia had just read between the lines, maybe she would have realized that he was sincere about his love for her. I had never seen him so serious.or sad.  
  
They're morphine  
  
Many people have wondered if mazoku are capable of love and now I know that it's true. They can love and hate and feel any emotion that we humans can. And now he's gone and we'll never see him ever again. His eyes are eternally closed, never to open in teasing or surprise or anything again. I think it's proper for his eyes to be closed now. It's how I want to remember him.  
  
Cleverly concealing primal urges often felt but rarely seen  
  
After all that's happened, I can't help but wonder how long he suppressed his feelings for Filia. How long did it take before he loved her? Or was it love at first sight? Xelloss only teased the people he really liked, and with as much as he teased Filia, it had to have been obvious. Even Gourry could have figured it out.  
  
Rarely seen  
  
The door slowly creaked open. Amelia walked in, sniffling. She sat on a bench behind me. I got up and went to sit beside her. Her eyes were red and puffy. She would have been this way had anyone died, probably worse. She and Xelloss were definitely opposites. She had her Justice spasms and Xelloss seethed in pain with every speech she gave. But they did care about each other.  
  
Love I beg you  
  
I suppose it was futile to think that Filia would show up. She either didn't care, or she felt too guilty to come. It would be hard for her, I knew. I guess I never thought about how much I'd miss that fruitcake, and now he's gone and I miss him a lot.  
  
"Are you oh-kay, Amelia?" Gourry asked.  
  
She sniffled and said, "I don't know, Mr. Gourry. I just feel so sad for Mr. Xelloss."  
  
Lift me up into that privileged point of view  
  
"It'll be all right, Amelia," I said, in an attempt to comfort her.  
  
She blew her nose and looked up. "I suppose that I should pay my respects to him," she said softly, as she stood up.  
  
I nodded and got up to go with her.  
  
The world of two  
  
Slowly, the two of us made our way to the front of the church. After what seemed like forever, we reached the casket. Inside, lay Xelloss' still form.  
  
  
  
His eyes were shut in his trickster grin, as we had seen him so many times before.  
  
I thought it would be too much for Amelia, but she seemed to be taking it well enough, considered how upset she had previously been.  
  
Love don't leave me  
  
Filia may have been the only one Xelloss ever loved. I know it must have hurt terribly. I can't imagine the feeling of heartache when you confess your love, only to have it mocked and scoffed at.  
  
Had Filia known what would come of it, she probably wouldn't have repelled him. She does have a good heart. I'm sure she was just afraid of having it broken.  
  
Because I console myself that Hallmark cards are true  
  
I guess everyone took Xelloss for granted, thinking he'd always be around because he was a mazoku, and they're kind of hard to kill, but who would think that he'd be killed by a harmless little dragon-girl, whose demeanor may have been a little rough, but who wouldn't really want to hurt a fly if it could be helped.  
  
I really do  
  
Here I am, going on about things that can't be changed. I shouldn't play devil's advocate anymore.  
  
I'm gunning down romance  
  
"Namagomi." was whispered right behind me.  
  
Amelia and I look up to see Filia, standing behind us, with flowers in her hand. She was a substantial distance away, but I could tell that her eyes were brimming with tears.  
  
It never did a thing for me  
  
She quietly walked between us to look at the deceased mazoku, lying motionless. She steadied herself by placing her hands on the side of the casket. She laid the purple flowers on a table with other flowers and rested her head on one of her hands.  
  
"Xelloss.I'm so sorry."  
  
But heartache and misery  
  
She brought her head back up and studied his face. Then, she began talking.  
  
"Xelloss, if I knew that you were serious.you know I wouldn't.I couldn't.oh, why did you do this to me?? How could you do it to Val? And Amelia?"  
  
Ain't nothing but a tragedy  
  
She sobbed uncontrollably, her body racking with her crying.  
  
Amelia put an arm around one of Filia's shoulders, trying to calm her.  
  
The dragon sniffed and began to regain her composure.  
  
Love don't leave me  
  
Once she had dried her eyes, she looked back at Xelloss and spoke again. "I don't know what possessed you to do what you did, but if it was my fault, then I'm sorry. If I knew you were sincere.I.I'd tell you.  
  
Take these broken wings  
  
"I'd tell you that.I love you too. There, now I've said it, and you're not even here to hear it! See what you've done? You've broken my heart, Xelloss!! I hope you rot in hell!"  
  
"Miss Filia, you don't mean that," Amelia whispered. She had started crying again, too.  
  
"Yes, I do," Filia returned, stubbornly.  
  
I'm gonna take these broken wings  
  
"He loved you, and you love him," Amelia tried again. "You're just upset because he'll never know. It's oh-kay. I'm sure he can hear you wherever he is."  
  
"You're right," Filia said, finally. "I know that he can hear me and he knows that I love him too."  
  
And learn to fly  
  
I smiled. There were no hard feelings left. Filia looked back at the casket, wistfully. She put her hand to his cheek and ran a finger along the side of his face.  
  
"There, there, Miss Filia," Amelia said, softly. "It's oh-kay. He's in a better place."  
  
"Yeah," I agreed, "let's go. There's supposed to be food somewhere."  
  
Filia and Amelia rolled their eyes.  
  
And learn to fly away  
  
I walked a considerable distance away, while Filia stayed, with Amelia at her side.  
  
The dragon priestess stood in the same place for a while, then leaned over and kissed the mazoku on the cheek.  
  
"Goodbye, Xelloss Metallium," she said.  
  
With a tear rolling down her cheek, Filia walked away from Xelloss, away from the casket.  
  
I'm gunning down romance  
  
  
  
I started walking towards the back of the church.  
  
Suddenly, I heard Gourry shout, "AAAAHH!! LINA!!"  
  
I quickly turned around and saw a blur of purple right in front of me before I fell right on my backside.  
  
"AAAAH!!" I cried in surprise.  
  
There stood Xelloss, alive as he could be, holding a black rectangular- shaped object.  
  
"And to think!" he exclaimed. "I got it all on videotape! My goodness, Filia-chan! I never knew you cared!"  
  
I didn't have to see the dragon to know that she was red in anger and reaching for her mace-sama.  
  
At the moment, I wished that I had one of my own.  
  
Needless to say, Xelloss was sent flying into a bench, headfirst, followed by Amelia, who was shouting, "Mr. Xelloss! Don't you know that it's wrong and unjust to trick people into believing that you're dead? The deceased are to be treated with respect and I for one was terribly upset to think that you were dead! How dare you?!!"  
  
After she was done, I jumped on him, and grabbed him around the neck. Shaking him, I yelled, "Xelloss, you fruitcake!! I can't believe you'd do something to get everybody so upset just to have your fun!! I outta kill you!!!"  
  
"Oh, you won't have to, once I'm doing with him!!!" Filia screamed.  
  
"Ladies, please!" Xelloss pleaded. "I was only having fun-"  
  
"But it was wrong, Mr. Xelloss!"  
  
"Tell it to the judge!"  
  
"Namagomi!!!"  
  
"Hey!" Gourry interrupted. "Is there still gonna be food?"  
  
-I had first intended for this to be a serious-sad songfic, but I just couldn't kill poor lil Xelly. Xelloss: So, you had Filia mace me, and Lina choke me, and Amelia speech me? Well.yes. I did. ^_^ Xelloss: Oh-kay! ^_^ Tune in next time!! 


End file.
